New Script

Script 28/01/2009

Fades In

Susie-May: Live from the Deep South of America. Brought to you by the thick homemade taste of Aunt Marcie’s Fatback bits in gravy. It’s The Professor!

Audience: Clap! Clap!

Prof: Howdy! Welcome to the show!

Prof knocks award of shelf.

Man in audience laughs

Prof: You know I keep knocking over this award I won at university for my thesis on the advanced growth of bananas. And this got me thinking…people slip on bananas. And what’s the opposite of slipping, sticking, yes. What do people step on that’s sticky, gum, gum, chewing gum. Thinking about gum, gums, we have gums in our mouths. Which is why today’s topic is dentistry.

Prof: A dentist has a wide variety of tools such as drills, mirrors and of course plaque scalars. While I get ready R.A.M why don't you tell the folks at home more about teeth.

R.A.M: Glad to Prof! Teeth are loose bones held to the jaw by soft tissue known as gums. When bacteria enter the gum line it eats away causing diseases.

Bacteria: heh heh heh!

R.A.M: So that's why it is very important to brush and floss your teeth.

Prof realises needs help from audience

Prof: R.A.M

R.A.M initiates picture generator. Lights flash over audience. Stops on Mort. Mort in first row eating a banana. Prof grabs Mort. Mort drops banana.

Prof: To assist me today my good buddy Mort!

Mort: (nervous stuttering)

Prof: Studying at university I witnessed many dental procedures. Now let's get started, make sure you dig in deep. Hmmm having a bit of trouble here. Maybe if I pull a little. GULP!

Ram: GASP!

Light falls down, Mort’s head swells up!

Mort: EEEE!

R.A.M jumps down hops over to get Susie

Prof: Don’t worry it’s all part of the procedure I’m competent

RAM brings Susie back

Susie-May: Don’t worry because Aunt Marcie’s Fatback Bits in Gravy is not only a tasty snack, it is also an all purpose medical treatment.

Mort’s head swells back down.

Prof: Well we have come to the end of our show see you next time science seekers.

Prof slips on banana peel.

Camera pans out over audience. Fades to credit sequence-showing stills from other episodes.

Susie-May: This episode was brought to you by Aunt Marcie’s Fatback Bits in Gravy.
Join us next time when the professor will explain brain surgery
Come all back now you here!